In short, too much backstabbing, negative energy, and other bullshit percolating on these forums. I’ve seen some of this behavior in person and online. I became cautious about participating in these forums several years ago and have not participated much. Until recently, I posted on these forums maybe twice a month. My posts are limited to posting links to blog posts. Given recent events on one of these forums, my participation will likely drop to zero.

In short, a moderator got so fed up that he temporarily shut down one discussion forum and took a leave of absence. This moderator is well-liked and respected. For him to take this step signals to me that participating in these discussion groups wastes time and energy. This episode killed any remaining desire to partake in online discussions about FMA. Screw that.

I will stick with this blog and other social media endeavors. They take up enough time, along with my self-defense and Modern Arnis classes and teaching private lessons. Also, factor in my part-time legal work for a couple of municipalities here in Ontario. All in all, I don’t have that much free time to browse the FMA discussion forums anyway. Why waste my limited time there?

My wife and I were essentially full-time caretakers for her 91-year-old mother for six months before she passed. That experience sure puts a lot of things into perspective. There are aspects to life that are important. And then some things don’t matter to me a great deal. Unimportant crap, in other words. Guess what belongs in the “unimportant crap” category? If you guessed “participation in martial arts discussion forums,” you are a genius. 🙂

“But won’t this impact the growth of your subscriber base?”

This decision will undoubtedly impact the growth of my blog subscriber base. I’ll figure out a way, but growing it through the FMA discussion forums is over.

Oh yes, the algorithms on Facebook, Twitter and other social media platforms have become so restrictive that they have strangled the organic reach of my posts. It is a pretty common experience for many bloggers.

The point of all this?

Avoid toxic environments, whether online or offline. It just isn’t worth it. Why would you let yourself get dragged down by the backbiting and negative energy, even if you’re just a bystander watching it all go down? It’s not worth it in my book.

Here’s a real-life example. Ten years ago, a student in his mid-40s participated in three free classes. During his first class, he asked how a particular technique “would work in a bar.” I explained to him that we were working on a foundational technique to develop skills. In short, it wasn’t necessarily a self-defense or combative technique.

He repeated the same question in his second class. We were working on basic footwork drills. After hearing his question, I explained that footwork constituted only part of the picture and could apply to any self-defense technique. I asked him to see me after class for a more detailed answer. In response to his scenario, I gave him a simple technique.

I bet that you couldn’t guess what happened in his third and final class. Yes, he asked again, “What would happen if this occurred in a bar?“

My students engaged in hard eye rolls at this question. I gave them an advanced technique to work on.

I pulled the student over and quietly told him, “Sir, this is not the first time you’ve asked about a bar-related scenario. Are you experiencing problems at any particular bar?“

“I am.“

I stated, “I have a self-defense tip that can cover all scenarios for you in that bar.” He showed some interest in what I was about to say.

“Don’t go to that bar. Not going there should solve your problems.“

Unfortunately, he immediately left class and never came back. He wasn’t willing to listen to my advice about avoiding a toxic environment. I hoped that he would be receptive to a sensible life tip. Unfortunately, he was not. I would not be terribly shocked if he encountered adversity at the bar.

My job as a teacher is not confined solely to teaching physical techniques but conflict avoidance. This includes avoiding troublesome or toxic environments.

The long and short of this post is that you should avoid toxic environments, whether it be in FMA discussion forums or real life. It is just not worth it and is a complete waste of energy.

Additional Reading

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