# Forget About Winning or Losing

- Link: https://brianejohns.com/2020/12/14/blog-forget-about-winning-or-losing/
- Published: 2020-12-14T10:00:00-05:00
- Author: Brian Johns

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

When folks roll on the mat or do stick free play, why do so many focus on “_winning_”
or “_losing_?” The fact of the matter is that you’re going to win some and lose 
some.

## Instead of getting hung up on who prevailed, just focus on the lessons learned from every 󠀁[training](https://brianejohns.com//2013/08/04/blog-training/)󠁿 session. Think in terms of advancing your skill inch by inch. “_Winning_” or “_losing_” often interferes with the learning process.

If you “lost” don’t let that get to you, as in “_My Gawd, it’s the end of the fucking
world!_” That doesn’t get you anywhere. Better to say to yourself: “_Okay, I messed
up here. Where did I make the fatal mistake that doomed me?_”

If you won, best not to let that get to you. “_Damn man! Nobody can touch me!_” 
Really? Did it take you 15 moves to secure that triumph? If so, maybe you’re not
the badass you think you are. See if you can win in 10 moves. Then 6. Then 3 moves.
You get the idea.

To be sure, you’ll probably learn much more from “_losing_” than “_winning_.”

     [View The Video](https://youtu.be/CdOYOjwbhBs)

It’s a process. Frankly, it’s more rewarding than winning or losing. It’s about 
improving your martial skill on a [daily basis](https://brianejohns.com/2015/03/23/blog-5-easy-ways-to-learn-in-class/).
As you can see from the above video, Dref and I went at it and filmed most of it.
I got him a few times, and he got me a few times.

## What are the lessons to be learned from these experiences?

 1. Active defence is far better than “defending.” Instead of defending, think in terms
    of “counter-attack.”
 2. When driving, fully commit to the attack. Otherwise, your training partner will
    turn the tables on you.
 3. Keep the alive hand as active as possible. It’s your friend! It can nullify an 
    attacker’s strategies and tactics in many ways.
 4. Regardless of whether you are driving or defending, never stop moving.
 5. The best moves? Well executed basics! Look at the video. You’ll notice that both
    of us used thrusting angles, slap off, pull off, block/check/counter, palis-palis,
    and many other basics and succeeded!

I’m sure I could add more to this list, but those are the main takeaways.

Now, if I had the “winning” or “losing” mindset, I don’t think I would have come
to the above conclusions. Yes, we pressure tested each other like hell. But we kept
our egos out of it. If your ego gets in the way, it will be harder to analyze what
you did well or why you sucked objectively. And yes, to say to yourself “_Damn that
was a cool maneuver by Dref. I’m going to incorporate that into my repertoire!_“

Given my experiences, I would strongly suggest forgetting about winning or losing.
Keep your ego out of it and learn from each experience.

## Over to you, what do you think? Please share your perspectives!

## Additional Reading

 * [Inching Toward Normal Life?](https://brianejohns.com/2021/06/04/blog-inching-toward-normalcy/)
 * [The Impossible Is Possible](https://brianejohns.com/2016/06/22/blog-the-impossible-is-possible/)
 * [Martial Arts Training and Learning](https://brianejohns.com/2013/08/04/blog-training/)
 * [The Check Hand](https://brianejohns.com/2011/02/17/blog-the-check-hand/)
 * [Can’t Keep Up? Do this Instead!](https://brianejohns.com/2015/11/23/blog-cant-keep-up-do-this-instead/)

### Share this post:

 * [  X ](https://brianejohns.com/2020/12/14/blog-forget-about-winning-or-losing/?share=twitter)
 * [  Facebook ](https://brianejohns.com/2020/12/14/blog-forget-about-winning-or-losing/?share=facebook)
 * [  LinkedIn ](https://brianejohns.com/2020/12/14/blog-forget-about-winning-or-losing/?share=linkedin)
 * [  Threads ](https://brianejohns.com/2020/12/14/blog-forget-about-winning-or-losing/?share=threads)
 * [  WhatsApp ](https://brianejohns.com/2020/12/14/blog-forget-about-winning-or-losing/?share=jetpack-whatsapp)
 * [  Email ](https://brianejohns.com/2020/12/14/blog-forget-about-winning-or-losing/?subject=%5BShared%20Post%5D%20Forget%20About%20Winning%20or%20Losing&body=https%3A%2F%2Fbrianejohns.com%2F2020%2F12%2F14%2Fblog-forget-about-winning-or-losing%2F&share=email)
 * [  Print ](https://brianejohns.com/2020/12/14/blog-forget-about-winning-or-losing/#print?share=print)

### Like this:

Like Loading…

### _Related_