# “Can’t” Gets You Fifty Pushups

- Link: https://brianejohns.com/2016/04/11/blog-cant-gets-you-fifty-pushups/
- Published: 2016-04-11T14:08:00-04:00
- Author: Brian Johns

> Guest Blogger Cathy Chapaty is the author of _[No Pouting in the Dojo: The Imperfect Journey of Teaching Children Character through Martial Arts](http://www.amazon.com/No-Pouting-Dojo-Cathy-Chapaty/dp/131236968X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1458671701&sr=1-1&keywords=no+pouting+in+the+dojo)
> __._ A veteran martial artist, Chapaty has been respected as an empowering, positive
> teacher with a knack for helping children of all ages and abilities learn martial
> arts. In her 15-year teaching career, she taught hundreds of children—many with
> ADHD, Asperger’s syndrome, and other challenges. Chapaty is an ambassador for 
> the Association of Women Martial Arts Instructors and in 2012 was honored by the
> Embassy of the Republic of Korea for an essay on the transformational power of
> Taekwondo. Most recently the U.S. Martial Arts Alliance named her 2014 Martial
> Arts Author of the Year. She is now retired from teaching Tae Kwon Do. Contact
> her via TaoTexas@gmail.com.

## These are real-life reasons why “can’t” isn’t in a martial artist’s vocabulary.

[In my years as a Taekwondo teacher](https://brianejohns.com/2015/10/15/blog-taming-the-mustang-spirit/),
I’ve seen countless transformations via a roomful of young, energetic students who
were being tested for the first time and learning that the value of the mantra “
_Don’t Quit_.”

Noah, Eddie, and Omar are three who come to mind when I think of the power of perseverance.

Over the years, I’ve helped students come up with language to express their frustrations
with growth without giving up. My main martial arts influence, Kyoshi Ivan Ujueta,
had a rule: If a student said “can’t,” that student had to pump out fifty push-ups.
It was a physical way to drive home the mental point of perseverance: If students
throw up their hands and quit when life gets hard in the dojo and the world—and 
life _will_ get hard—they’ll never reach their goals and dreams.

## **Eddie**

Years ago while training with Kyoshi Ivan, I watched nine-year-old Eddie attempt
a difficult maneuver: a forward roll while holding a bo, followed by a jump front
kick. After a number of unsuccessful attempts, Eddie sighed and said, “_I can’t 
do it_.”

All action in the dojo suddenly stopped, a few inward gasps of horror were heard,
and then the room became eerily quiet.

“What did you say?” Kyoshi Ivan asked, his left eyebrow rising. This was Kyoshi’s
signature look of displeasure, made more pronounced by his shiny bald head.

“_It’s too hard. I can’t do it_,” Eddie said, shrugging his shoulders.

“_Drop and give me fifty push-ups_,” Kyoshi replied, crossing his arms high in front
of his chest.

“_But I can’t do fifty push-ups_.”

(More gasps from classmates.)

Kyoshi looked hard at Eddie. Both eyebrows were low and even. Not a good sign.

### “_Then give me one hundred_,” Kyoshi said, pointing one finger down to the wooden floor.

Eddie finally realized his error, and as he lowered his body to the floor, everyone
in the dojo returned to their own training—relieved that it wasn’t them doing the
push-ups and making a mental note to themselves to never say that awful four-letter
word.

## **Omar**

Eleven-year-old Omar has always been a hard worker (he won Tao of Texas Martial 
Arts Institute’s Tenet Award for Hardest Working Man on the Mat in 2010). He’s also
always been a hard read, with a firm, stoic personality. Omar’s insistence on perfection
proves a constant challenge; he wants to learn new skills and tasks, but only if
he can do them right the first time. Growth rarely comes easily for him. Yet he 
keeps trying.

One night, he and his mom got home late from a day full of commitments. Exhausted,
they decided to brush their teeth and go straight to bed.

“_But first, I have to go do fifty push-ups_,” Omar told his mom.

“_Oh?_” she replied. “_Is this a new fitness regimen Miss Cathy has you doing?_”

“_No, it’s because I said ‘can’t’ at piano [practice] today,_” he said matter-of-
factly.

His mom was so impressed, she made a point of relaying the conversation to me later.

“_I was so proud of him_,” she beamed after class the next day. “_I wouldn’t have
known he said that. But he did. And he held himself accountable. He did it all on
his own_.”

Omar, deadpan as always, stood nearby with his palms cupped calmly behind his back.

“_So what happened_?” I asked him. “_What brought on the ‘can’t’?_”

“_Well, my teacher was making me practice this really hard piece over and over. 
I just wasn’t getting it right, so I said, ‘I can’t’.”_

“_And then what happened?_”

“_I kept trying_,” he shrugged.

“_Wow. That’s impressive. That’s self-discipline. That’s practicing Taekwondo in
all your affairs. And that, my young man, is the difference between having a black
belt and being a black belt_.”

“_Chukah-hamnidah_. _Congratulations_,” I said.

A slight curve appeared on the right side of his mouth. “_Thank you, ma’am_,” Omar
said.

## **Noah**

Since the age of six, Noah has used his martial arts skills to help strengthen his
lungs, which are surrounded by tumors. He has neurofibromatosis. (Google it.) Noah
has endured 13 surgeries to lengthen rods in his spine, and he and his mom have 
made multiple trips for medical check-ups with specialists from hospitals hundreds
of miles from home. He has had every reason to sit on the spectator chairs with 
his mom as his twin brother, Isaac, trains with me. But Noah is a fighter. He always
bowed onto the mat, worked hard, and tried his best.

### Noah is a fighter with great spirit and a “can” attitude. Once in pre-op, he got out of the hospital bed to show his nurse how to do a roundhouse kick.

![](https://i0.wp.com/brianejohns.com//wp-content/uploads/2020/06/NoahSurgery1.jpg?
resize=432%2C445&ssl=1)

During pre-op, Noah shows his anesthesia nurse how to do a Taekwondo roundhouse 
kick. Photo by Tracy Frank.

This young man has taught me and many others about the power of perseverance and
how a good, positive attitude can get you through the hardest life have to offer.

![](https://i0.wp.com/brianejohns.com//wp-content/uploads/2020/06/NoahGreen2.jpg?
resize=340%2C502&ssl=1)

Chapaty awards Noah a green belt. Photo by Tracy Frank.

## **And today?**

I have the same “Can’t = Fifty Push-ups” rule with my students today, and we have
come up with alternate expressions for times when obstacles seem insurmountable 
but aren’t—expressions that don’t have the finality of “can’t”:

• “I’m struggling today.”

• “This is difficult.”

• “I’m having a hard time.”

• “This isn’t coming naturally to me.”

And my favorite:

## • “This is gonna take more practice than I thought.”

These phrases own the reality that the student is not perfect—today. But it allows
for the possibility, even begs the expectation, that tomorrow can and likely will
be different. Tomorrow, the student could have a breakthrough.

Omar’s story of piano perseverance and Noah’s ability to endure multiple surgeries
exemplify how martial arts training pays off amid real-life struggles.

There are real-life reasons why “can’t” isn’t in a martial artist’s vocabulary.

## So what’s your “can’t”? And how can you take steps today to eliminate it from your language and your world?

## Additional Reading

 * [The Most Important Person?](https://brianejohns.com/2016/08/01/blog-the-most-important-person/)
 * [Under Lockdown](https://brianejohns.com/2020/03/02/blog-under-lockdown/)
 * [Simplicity](https://brianejohns.com/2015/09/28/blog-simplicity/)
 * [Going Into The Martial Arts Hibernation Season](https://brianejohns.com/2023/11/22/going-into-the-martial-arts-hibernation-season/)
 * [Back To The Drawing Board](https://brianejohns.com/2023/12/13/back-to-the-drawing-board/)

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